EmptyInside (thelastbandito) wrote,
EmptyInside
thelastbandito


Supervisor: "Team meeting at 6, keep reminding me so I don't forget."

Preston: "Yeah…umm… Did you get that memo? We’re ummm… gonna have a team meeting… Yeah, Around 6 I think… So if you could just get that circulated that’d be great. Thanks."

Supervisor: "I’m sorry, but Office Space is so over done…btw I watched that British series yesterday called The Office, that is funny stuff."

Preston: "Office Space is over done because it’s done so well… It’s so excellent. It’s like, you make some eggs, and these are damn good eggs, everyone likes your eggs, because they taste great, are less filling, and lower your cholesterol. MMMM EGGS! Some people, like vegans and vegetarians, don’t like your eggs. But hey, they’re just not egg people. They don’t ‘GET’ eggs, and well that’s their choice or situation.

But a lot of people like your eggs, and so you make a lot of eggs, and then so many people have these wonderful eggs, that it’s common place to hear ‘Hey, I had some of those DAMN FINE EGGS this morning, did you?’ and they’re like. ‘WHY YES I DID! And they were EGG-CELLENT!’ and a hearty laugh is shared by all, because lets face it, puns are the pinnacle of hilarity.

And a few years go by, and the eggs are still just as good and tasty, but now everyone’s been eating them for so long that they’re intimately familiar with the tastes and flavors of the eggs, they’re just as good, but people want something new, some new taste for their breakfast sensation of the morning. So they go out and find FLAPJACKS! MMMMM FLAPJACKS! And they move on. Except for some people, some of these flapjack people tout flapjacks as the ULTIMATE BREAKFAST FOOD, and actively condemn anyone who would eat otherwise. ‘EGGS! EGGS ARE SO OLD!’ they say, not realizing that EGGS are used in the CREATION OF FLAPJACKS! Nay-sayers, the whole lot of them. They spread the word that Flapjacks are here to stay, and the days of eggs have gone away. If you talk about eggs, they will cut you down. ‘You’re so not hip anymore. Eggs are old. Get with the times, Mr. Oldie McFartyPants, get yourself some Flapjacks.’

These people are called assholes.

They’re all ‘So quit talking about Eggs, Eggs are the past man. Eggs are dead, and gone. Can’t we just forget about eggs, and move on?’ To these people I say ‘Quit talking about Jesus. Jesus is in the past man. Jesus is dead, and gone, although he might come back, but yeah, can’t we just forget about Jesus, and move on?’ But not really, because I’m pretty sure Jesus was an egg man. I mean Flapjacks weren’t even around back in the days of The Big JC. Flapjacks of God indeed. PSHAW! The JC loves Eggs, from his head down to his leggs. I know this because the bible tells me so. Right there in the book of Genesis - 24:19 “And Lo, did God create the perfect food for man, and called it ‘The Egg’. It was so perfect, as to be truly awesome, and would have been all consuming in its perfection. As such, God had to put something else into its creation to balance the fact that this food was the ultimate food, the ambrosia of He, Himself. Thus, God created birds. And made these perfect eggs to come out of their butt. Thus all eggs were made part of your balanced meal.”

But I digress… So about that meeting, yeah.. I'm gonna need to have you come in at 6 for it, and that'd be great."
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